By Khadijatu Mansaray
The shocking events of the past week have forced us to confront an uncomfortable truth that many would rather ignore. The alleged rape of a young girl by a minister caused an outpouring of emotions. Since the news broke a few days ago, social media has been swamped with reactions of horror, outrage, pity, cynicism and even indifference. From kneejerk reactions, mad rants to the solitary voices of reason Sierra Leoneans at our best and worst have had something to say and that is a good thing. Sexual exploitation and rape have never been given the seriousness they deserve despite several calls from women to address the problem. As a nation we tend to be quite keen to tick the right boxes and secure funding from international donors to promote the rights of women. The general approach has been big project launches and a few workshops for the target beneficiaries that don’t even begin to address the problems. This incident has exposed the level of ignorance about what is right and wrong and more importantly what is inappropriate. Remarkably even those with good intentions end up doing more harm than good. Some of the media coverage has been disgracefully insensitive to both the accused and the alleged victim. Not to mention the shameless efforts to politicise what could potentially have life-changing consequences on those involved. Identities have not been protected and the ‘courts of public opinion’ have loudly given their verdicts for or against. Had our system called for a jury trial, all chances for a fair one would be severely compromised. We’ve been given different narratives and heard the alleged victim’s tearful testimony. There is no point crying over split milk but where do we go from here? The courts shall decide a verdict on the alleged rape and in trying to make sense of this cacophony I shall comment on to the events leading to the alleged incident. The responsibility lies with? A consistent theme among the various narratives seems to be that there was a promise to help with scholarship accompanied with a blurry expectation of sexual favours in return. If this promise included help outside the normal avenues for such applications then that is itself an act of corruption by the minister. If as alleged, the promise was accompanied by demands for sexual favours then it is also abuse of power and authority by the minister regardless of whether the favours were granted willingly or not. The responsibility of integrity and maintaining the respect of his office lies solely with the minister and justifies his immediate sacking. Femme fatale? Not surprisingly the young woman’s virtue has been questioned and every sordid detail possible has been dug up. She has been called liar, blackmailer and more. The cynics have pondered on why she went with him in the first place. This ‘she asked for it’ attitude is not uncommon in these situations. Some think it is a transaction gone wrong and others have suggested a political set-up. If, for arguments sake, we assume all the horrible stories about her are true, regardless of whatever underlying motives she may have had, the stories still suggest that the minister either lied about being able to give her a scholarship, money or whatever was agreed or just wanted sexual favours from her, both explanations point to blatant sexual exploitation. In a society where obtaining things the right way does not always yield result and opportunities for young people are few; can we honestly be moralistic if a young woman decides to take a less honourable but not uncommon alternative? Does that make her cheap or vulnerable? Is she soiled or is she desperate? I am conscious of the matter now in court and my argument has nothing to do with the charges of rape or assault but purely with the abuse of power for having promised the lady a scholarship. Attitudes Everything wrong about this affair relates to attitudes towards women. Sierra Leone is not unique in blaming the victim in these situations and, thankfully, this has not been unanimous. It is common for the morality of the woman to be questioned or for it to be suggested that it is her fault. It is important that the ‘she asked for it’ brigade understand that even the most promiscuous woman in the world does not deserve to be assaulted, raped or to be asked for sex in exchange for what is rightfully her entitlement. A woman’s virtue is not a prerequisite for her to be treated like a human being. Rape can be easily trivialised depending on who the victim and perpetrator are. The rape of a woman of low social status is likely to be taken less seriously than that of a woman of high standing. As a result they are more likely to be raped. A woman of social standing may also be too embarrassed to report date rape which again is more common than we would like to admit to. In fact women in this category are more likely to be raped by people they actually know or consider to be friends. A man of higher social status is more likely to get away with rape than one of a lower status. The comments on social media of what is and isn’t consent clearly show that a lot of education is needed on this for both men and women. This is not due to our laws, or the lack of them, but to our attitude. And until we get to a point where the act alone, and not the person, determines the crime we have a long way to go. Despite the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ and the caveat ‘why was she there?’ rape is generally frowned upon. Sexual harassment or exploitation on the other hand has been largely unchecked and sometimes even regarded as an entitlement. Women are constantly bombarded with anything from lecherous looks to ridiculous marriage proposals and have come to accept it as a norm. The coping mechanism for many women has been to absolve the men of responsibility of their actions. Some women can be even more judgemental and unsympathetic to victims. I have heard calls for gender activists to focus on women being safe. Safety precautions do not count for much in a society where a man thinks a woman walking through the gates of his residence means an agreement to sex. In the same way a woman has a responsibility to keep safe, men also have a responsibility to protect themselves from those women who may falsely accuse them. It has taken a high profile scandal to call us to attention to the wider problem of the menace women have been going through. Whilst some may cringe at the level of decadence and debauchery they encounter from time, many women either choose to ignore, put up with it or deal with it in a way they seem fit as long as they feel in control. The more outspoken and assertive women may cope better, but the sad truth is that no matter how in control a woman may feel, events can quickly overtake her and she can easily lose control of a situation she believed she could handle. And not just women, men also can also find themselves in situations they didn’t reckon and have to deal with false accusations. Why we cannot go on Sexual exploitation is a scourge on our nation’s conscience and degrading to all women, not just victims. In a strongly patriarchal society as ours, power lies with men on many levels and every woman at some point could be a potential victim. Hard-earned achievements of outstanding women do not always get the acknowledgement they deserve because there is an underlying assumption that they could have been ‘helped’ along the way because of their gender. For as long as the balance of power lies with men who do not feel obliged to respect women we shall not be truly liberated. It beclouds our professionalism and our relationships, reduces us to mere objects and calls to question our very civilisation. Is this what we want for our children? It is women who raise the sons that become rapists or value the honour of women. Events have clearly gone out of control for the minister and the young lady, and they must reckon with the courts. As we ponder and wait there will be many victims of rape and sexual harassment who remain silent because they fear the repercussions. It is not just Tarawallie who is on trial. Our attitudes are equally in the dock and we must not be found wanting. A much needed education At the risk of stating the obvious, gentlemen, when it comes to sex “no” means “no”. Rape means forcing a woman to have sex when she doesn’t want to. So when a wife says NO her wishes must be respected. If a lady walks into a bedroom wanting to have sex and changes her mind her wishes should be respected. And finally, if a couple are happily thumping and the woman decides he should stop, then her wishes should be respected. Anything less than respecting her wishes is rape. (C) Politico 19/08/13
