THE CLUELESS OPPOSITION AND THE IGR REPORT
Look at the way the main opposition party, the SLPP, has been playing around with the IGR report on the coming census. In fact, it's their attitude to the report that has created some good drama for us apart from that disastrous radio appearance by a guy from Statistics Sierra Leone. He was totally unable to land any significant punch on the IGR document. IGR is a credible institution that should be a pride to Sierra Leone. Well done!
Here's what has happened with the opposition since that report was launched: Unity newspaper, the SLPP’s official mouthpiece, is back on the streets - even the paper was not spared the wrangling in the SLPP. The paper was suspended when some people complained they were not informed it would be back on the newsstands; the party issued a press release hanging on every detail of that IGR report; the London-based pretenders to party leadership have also had their say. They've gone really wild suddenly.
With all due respect guys, where were you when Statistics Sierra Leone was attempting to score this goal from the off-side position? In some countries, the opposition is normally the first to raise such concerns with clear evidence, not just any of those loud media engagements that have little or no impact.
Ok, now the SLPP is going back to sleep to wait for another IGR report on slum dwellings, before they start jumping all over the place again about poverty in Sierra Leone – so much for good opposition politics.
By the way we have read the first few editions of your mouthpiece. Welcome back but you are still not preaching to anybody who is not already converted to the Green Movement. Well, maybe that's what you need now...hahhahahahhahaha!
RE-OPENING SCHOOLS WITH EBOLA STILL AROUND
All schools and colleges are putting finishing touches to their preparation for the re-opening of those learning institutions. De Pa announced recently that in the 3rd or 4th week of March, the children of the nation should be going back to school after a very long break. We can't just sit back to feel sorry for ourselves – after all schools ought not to have been shut in the first place.
Ok, we've been trying to engage with the practical reality of a typical day at Fourah Bay College for example, in these Ebola times.
1. The day should start at 7am, that's an hour earlier than normal. It gives the college health workers enough time to take the temperature of all students and lecturers and for them to wash their hands so that actual teaching can begin. Classes can go on till 9pm. But electricity and security will be major worries. And even the very water to wash hands with.
2. Lecturers should be the first people to have their temperatures taken. Without the lecturer, there can be no class.
3. An ambulance should be stationed on campus just in case somebody goes down with Ebola symptoms. Or a makeshift holding center could be set up somewhere on campus.
4. All students who come through what they call CANAL from Blackhall road, up the hill to FBC should ensure they arrive at least 30 minutes early to cool down and then have their temperature taken. Same for those who come from the Model end tired and sweaty. Or Logus can provide buses.
5. Ebola prevention messages should be prominently displayed all over campus especially in those cookery corners – those spoons, cups and all that.
6. Maybe the college should consider hazard allowances for their lecturers. Health workers have collected theirs. Who says lecturing in such situations is not being on the frontline!
7. Lecturers with large classes should use megaphones and keep a ten-yard distance from the students – and maybe a soapbox on which to stand to avoid passing body contact.
8. Strict dress codes to avoid shorts and miniskirts and encourage long sleeves tops.
These same measures can be applied in all schools across the country. Above all, De Pa should keep the measures under review.
60% OF OKADA BOYS ARE FOREIGNERS: IS KARAMOH RIGHT?
We thought we should return to that amazing statistics from Minister Karamoh Kabba the other day about the number of foreign Okada riders in Sierra Leone. At least one newspaper reported an incident about two weeks ago in which an okada rider allegedly died in the hands of the police. We cannot confirm this but we also read that following that incident, a large number of okada boys converged on the office of the Guinean ambassador to Sierra Leone to complain.
Now then, could these 60% foreign okada riders Karamoh Kabba talked about be Guineans? There are large migrant communities across the two borders. We know that. But to say that 60% of the thousands of okada riders came from outside Sierra Leone is a really big claim to make. And coming from Karamoh Kabba, please forgive us for having some doubts. Under De Pa there is no consequence for misfiring or even insulting people.
Well let's say we agree with Karamoh Kabba, can he now tell us whether all those foreigners voted in particularly the last elections in Sierra Leone? They were very prominent supporters of the Red Movement. They had helmets with De Pa's photograph on them. Maybe we should start charging them some fees for constantly turning up at emergency hospital with varying degrees of injury.
And this ill-conceived strike of theirs, can they please continue indefinitely? Freetown was at peace for the better part of Monday. Let the strike go on. Sorry if the state has failed to address your transport need which makes Okada relevant to you.
In fact, we have a small job for Karamoh Kabba. Let him lead the process of removing the names of those 60% of okada riders who are foreigners from the voters' register because our own people can't vote in Guinea. Where is this minister in fact? Many times it seems as if he does all his job in Kono district. Why can't he just run his office from Koidu town like Kan Kan Kan is doing from Port Loko.
A MINISTRY OF ENTERTAINMENT? Hmmmmmmmmmmm!!
We are waiting for a copy of the proposal our musicians presented to De Pa the other day. As they say, the devil is always in the detail. But since that meeting we have read on social media and in newspapers a call for the setting-up of a Ministry of Entertainment. In fact, some social media posts have gone as far as appointing somebody to the job. Yeaaah! Long Live Sierra Leone and De Pa.
Anyway let's see which other sectors of national life we should create ministries for.
MINISTRY OF FOOD - Please let's ignore all this bogus food self-sufficiency talk from that pretender to the throne and create this ministry now. The ministry's main task will be to ensure that all the thousands of cookery shops all over Freetown operate in hygienic conditions. They are easily found all over the main streets serving hundreds of thousands of people. Great Ministry!
MINISTRY OF SYCOHPHANCY - We all know sycophancy is a major issue in this country. And the sycophants come in all shapes and sizes in the same way their destructive powers vary like that between a Tomahawk Cruise Missile and an AK 47. So we need a ministry to coordinate them such that they will all not be falling over themselves trying to catch the eyes of De Pa. This is a vital industry in Sierra Leone. We need this ministry very fast.
MINISTRY FOR DREG MAN - A dreg man in Sierra Leone represents the lowest of the low, particularly in urban centers. Low to the extent of having no education or talent to produce something to make a living from. Now look around Freetown and tell us why we still don't have a ministry for DREG MAN? They are so many and explosive that we need to act fast so that nobody manipulates them anymore into violence like Foday Sankoh did in the 90s.
We are willing to suggest names of people who will perform very well in that office if De Pa asks us for help.
We will be suggesting many more ministries to be created in subsequent editions because we believe a ministry of entertainment will open the floodgates for all other fields of endeavour to ask for a ministry. Hope this has been helpful.
© Politico 04/02/15
