By Rev SM Williams
By holy matrimony the soul of the contracting parties are joined and knit together more directly and immediately than their bodies , not by any passing whim of either sense or spirit but by a deliberate act of the will and from this union of souls by God’s decree a sacred and inviolable bond arise.
- Pope Pius xi
The God behind creation is the God who made the distinction between male and female, with a view to the union of husband and wife. In his purpose we find separation as well as union. For this cause shall a man leave father and mother. The marriage relationship takes precedence over that between parents and children. Nobody chooses their parents; though many of us may feel we could possibly have done better if the choice had been left in our hands. Only one person in history chose his mother and that was the Lord Christ himself.
Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and security of children.
-Noah Webster
The Christian marriage can only exist where the two parties have both come to the foot of the cross and found Jesus Christ as their personal saviour.
And true Christian marriage starts in prayer about their partner long before they meet. Prayer before marriage life is a wonderful investment in heaven’s bank.
Is marriage for all? No! But the unmarried woman who is in the centre of the will of God is much happier than she would have been if she had hooked a man out of God’s will. From limited observation, I would say without hesitation that the woman who is unhappily married experiences far more emotional strain and tension than the most lonely unmarried woman. God honors what is best for each of his children and we must learn to trust him about this. Very few remain single unmarried throughout their lives, but some of the Christian women who remain single can testify that the Lord Jesus has given them a wonderful peace and joy, He does satisfy the soul longing.
- 1. Christ first
Put Christ and your partner next. To put your husband or wife and Christ second will not bring deep and lasting happiness because it is not the way God planned for us.
Charles Alexanders’s life motto was’ Only one day at a true to live, only one person to please.’ And he didn’t mean Mrs Alexander! She was the right kind Christian wife. He did not feel worthy of his, nor she of him. And that is how it should be.
- 2. Mutual sharing
Christian complex should share everything – business, finance, interest, thought, opinions, temptations, fears, joys and all the in-between feelings. Open your heart completely and utterly to each other. Fusion of heart means fullness of peace in the home, when there is no conscious barrier between you both and the Lord.
- 3. Prayerfulness
When the husband and wife start the day with prayer, both separately and together, the day is started on the right footing. Many Christian couples would testify to the enormous difference it makes to pray about the details of their united lives, one of the best things an engaged couple can do is to start the habit of praying together they can. This will then be a natural part of their relationship when they are married. Those who pray together stay together.
- 4. Courtesy and appreciation
Don’t take each other for granted. Husband watches her hands. Don’t let her do work that is too heavy. Watch her eyes and try to stop her overdoing things before she reaches breaking point. See that you nourish and cherish her as you once promised. Wives don’t nag him when he comes home tired. Remember he likes to see you looking nice, and if you do, he is more likely to speak that word of appreciation you long to hear!
Some husbands treat their wives just like washbasins or ciphers. They watched their wife’s eyes eagerly in the earlier romantic days, but they seldom observe with compassion and understanding the tiredness that comes with the hard work in the home. A mother with young children works a sixteen hour a day!
Are you more polite to someone else’s wife (husband) than you are to your own? If so you are robbing each other of pleasure and the peace of a gracious home, and your children of a good example.
Words of courtesy and appreciation cost so little and mean so much. Expensive flowers produced for anniversaries cannot possibly make up for neglected daily courtesies.
- Unselfishness
If you are to enjoy in full the richness and self-interest you must die daily and live to Christ. See that thanksgiving is a constant note in your prayers. Cultivate the daily bearing of one another’s burdens, and the daily forbearing from bursting out the unkind word you will sometimes be tempted to say. Let your partner see that you are utterly faithful honoring your vows. Let it be known your wife has your steadfast allegiance. This adds to her stability and the poise, her sense of security and the aura of serenity that makes a happily married woman. You own her for more than you dream!
The world needs more genuine Christian marriages and happy Christian homes. If we are married let us pray that our partnership may be more glorifying to God.
But if we are not married yet let us pray that we shall marry only in the will of God.
Culled from “Essential Theology for today “for today by Rev S.M Williams. Available at CLC Bookshops and Balmaya Restaurant
© Politico 16/12/14
