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TWITTER, the Gossip (11/07/14)

AS IT IS WITH ENERGY, SO SHALL IT BE WITH WORKS MINISTRY

When De Pa finally moved to reorganise his cabinet, the whole thing ended in an absolute damp squib. Well to be honest, we didn't expect anything spectacular. We've been with De Pa for seven years now and we know the factors he considers in appointing people to high office. Just look around. Newspaper people like writing big speculative copies about cabinet reshuffle and all that, but look at what we have here.

We've been trying to make sense of what the energy ministry would now look like at the operational level with the arrival of OPERATION ANACONDA.

We don't know if as an army major, his job was to distribute food rations to real combat soldiers but with his new job of deputy minister of energy in charge of distribution and supply, we have already prepared his office at Falcon Bridge. His sub-office is at Blackhall Road.

In both offices we have put his overalls, wellington boots and hard hats. We are very prepared bro. As an army Major OPERATION ANACONDA's skills will come in handy to arrest NPA workers who steal fuel all the time. Welcome sir! Permission to fall out for now.

Now let's transfer that same logic to the ministry of works because we can bet our last leone that De Pa will do the same there when he is ready.

The Minister - He attends cabinet meetings even if he will never present a cabinet paper and be half asleep throughout. The real minister would sign multi-million dollar contracts with companies like those doing township roads in our district headquarter towns. Those companies can operate only in countries like Sierra Leone where the people seem to have more money than sense.

Deputy Minister (1) - in charge of Highways, Bridges and spot improvement of potholes.

Deputy Minister (II) - in charge of feeder roads, refurbishment of government offices and minister's living quarters, including providing window curtains and taking care of disgruntled workers' ceaseless perennial complaints.

Our government is too large and expensive and the nation can't afford to pay for that. Other services are suffering while we all pretend as if it's a good thing that Sierra Leone has more ministers than Ghana. The population of Sierra Leone is found in Accra alone. Strange eh?

WILL KAILAHUN BE OPEN FOR BUSINESS MEXT MONTH?

We have been wondering whether the neglected north eastern district of Kailahun will be open for business in August. We ask because government has closed all schools and market places in Kailahun district, but mosques and churches are still open and WAEC has postponed the basic education certificate exam to August. Kailahun is in virtual lockdown and the few people who are able to scheme their way out of the place are harassed at checkpoints and treated like people in their last hours of suffering from Ebola.

We ask also because we believe that it will be unrealistic for the government to declare victory over Ebola in seven weeks. What we are getting even from the government's own conservative statistics is not encouraging and come to think of it Sierra Leoneans are being stigmatised abroad and like the consequences of the war, it will take a long time for strangers to believe that all Sierra Leoneans are free from Ebola.

If the government intends to extend the lockdown in Kailahun, that let them do so now. People have to prepare ahead. Let's not waylay our own people.

IS DE PA'S BRAZILIAN TEAM ALSO DESTROYING ITSELF AT HOME? 

Well, well, well, the mighty Brazil football team were taught a bitter football lesson on the pitch in their own backyard by the Germans. Brazil were absolutely disgraced and they will remember that day for a long time to come.

But here's what we are thinking about: Could it be that our own political Brazilian squad in Freetown is also building up to a crushing defeat in 2017? Let's put our own political Brazilian team to work in line with the real Brazilians in South America.

Richie Boy is like Neymar Jr. - On the eve of a major game like the one against the Germans, he is fouled and taken out of the team.

Kan Kan Kan is like Thiago Silva - He goes around the place attacking the media and bringing bad name to his government. Why did Thiago Silva who knew he was already on one yellow card, needlessly get himself booked by blocking the way of a goalkeeper? Look at what we have now.

Mungo Park of Internal Affairs - is like Fred. His colleagues, represented by his deputy do all the job, they pass the ball to him to score and he messes up. Mungo Park's political life goes like this: APC - SLPP - APC -SLPP and now APC again. He is now being booed by Sierra Leoneans like Fred was booed by his own supporters. And like Fred should have been carded in the Columbia match, Mungo Park should have long been sent packing.

Sarah Palin is like Fernandino - She keeps losing the ball in midfield and failing to track back to defend the goal post. How many times has Sarah Palin failed to take the initiative against Ebola? She knew the disease was in neighbouring Guinea but she was content with doing cosmetic things like pretending to be busy in midfield even as the Germans, like Ebola, ran riot.

We shall continue looking at other players on our own Brazilian team sheet.

PADEMBA ROAD SQUATTER CAMP IS A SCAR ON FREETOWN

We invite that Karaoke minister at Social Welfare to go back to that squatter camp for the disabled he created at Pademba Road, on the site of the former Ministry of Works. The physically-challenged people squatting there are in a very bad condition. The rains have made things worse.

When the government decided to evict them from the place, we applauded that move because we believe the people are simply being further stigmatised. In fact the nation is being constantly called up to feel sorry for "these physically-challenged people squatting here". And we will not countenance the argument that they are poor and cannot afford to take care of themselves.

What if able-bodied people like us woke up one morning and moved to Hockey Pitch, Wilberforce with our wives and children with the intention to squat there because of our poverty, would Karaoke minister from Washington DC also tell the RSLAF to allow us to stay because we are poor?

Karaoke minister's patronising approach to the issue of the physically-challenged reminds us of how Siaka Stevens would typically have behaved. Those people in that squatter camp must be told or forced to disperse immediately.

All sorts of things are happening now in that squatter camp. When we last visited, under a heavy disguise of course, we noticed that marijuana and alcohol were freely available. If the government had taken the decision to move them on long ago, then they should get on with that. What kind of in-the-pond-out-of-the-pond approach to national policy-making is this?

GOD BLESS AMERICA, AS MV MAHERA/GREAT SCARCIES FERRY WAS CLEAN AT LAST

How we wish more US Government dignitaries would be flying into Sierra Leone frequently. The dirty stinking MAHERA ferry and its acrid surrounding at Kissy were all transformed ahead of the visit over the weekend of the wife of the US vice president. Even if you chewing gum fell off your mouth you could still pick it up and continue chewing. The ferry was well cleaned, nicely painted with fragrance that made it smell like a perfumery. Even the unsightly lavatory was so clean that one could have a meal inside it.

So we ask thus: why is that ferry always dirty and smelly! Can the authorities not regularly clean it for the health of the people of Sierra Leone, PASS AMERICAN POSIN KAM BO!!! AYYYE BO UNA SEF!

WHEN WILL THE SLFA CONGRESS HOLD PLEASE?

We are waiting for the date of the SLFA congress, one year after the Madam was brought to lead the SLFA after what qualifies as one of the most corrupt elections anywhere in the world since Robert Mugabe first "defeated" Morgan Tswangari. Football stakeholders are writing letters and shouting all over the place asking for congress to be called.

Some stakeholders have told us that De Madam is running scared. She doesn't want to face her own delegates. Weren't these the same people who "voted" solidly for her last August? How come we can't have a congress now - or can't they have their CEMENTED once again?

We have a very practical advice for De Madam. And we urge her to take us seriously.

1. First thing tomorrow, recall your political Maradona in the shape of Abdul Rahman Swaray and task him with preparing the ground for congress no later than September. The stakeholders will accept that date.

2. Give Swaray sufficient logistics - you know what that means - and he will perform his John the Baptist function extremely well. His credentials are clear. By the way why have De Madam refused to pay Swaray  his leave allowance?

3. At the end the congress, restore him to his job and show him the respect he deserves.

Look Madam, you don't have to take us seriously, but have this in mind that we have seen a document detailing the complaints on which you will be successfully impeached at congress. You made history becoming the first female head of SLFA, you are on the verge of making history again as the first SLFA president to be impeached. Hahahahahah. You have simply failed to CEMENT you contacts even from within your executive. That's unbelievable!

(C) Politico 11/07/14

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