ufofana's picture
TWITTER, the Gossip (17/07/14)

ENERGY MINISTER FACES BLACKOUT IN PARLIAMENT

Aso Rock couldn't have been more embarrassed than turning up in parliament for his confirmation hearing as Minister of Energy only for the lights to go out in the middle of the event. Welcome to Freetown. Electricity is an absolute luxury for millions of Sierra Leoneans. We are right back in the period just before the election that brought De Pa to power in 2007 in terms of electricity supply.

About two weeks ago we said that we didn't believe any significant change would take place with Aso Rock and that bogus and talkative army reservist  overseeing "transmission" and what and what at the NPA. We stand by that and we plead with them to invoke the Public Order Act against us.

The little power available is concentrated in the homes of the powerful while the politicians continue to give excuses. It's either cables, underground faults, lightning and thunder (even in the dry season).

The turnover of politicians at this ministry is so alarming that it is practically impossible for any serious policy to be formulated and executed there. Look at those who were reported to have almost fought at the State House SPU as they attacked each other over money and projects. Pure madness. Meanwhile the country is in darkness and productivity is at a halt or overheads have gone through the roof.

Some of us were very clever not to have accepted the Haja's message to ditch Kabbah Tiger for good. The poor thing has rescued us from perpetual darkness and armed robbers. Long Live Kabbah Tiger!

NATIONAL ASSETS MAN GETS A NICE DATE WITH LUC MEMUNA

We are dying to get the interview of our life but it looks as if the normally garrulous National Assets man is not ready to face the media to talk about his date with Memuna Ebola. We suspect it was a really fantastic date because it lasted for about four hours and if the National Assets man, with his bulk, survived that date then it has to be a memorable one.

Dates are normally not media events but as far as this one was concerned, as soon as our man appeared at the location dictated by LUC Memuna, somebody put a phone call through to us. We even have pictures of the National Assets man arriving and being received by LUC Memuna's boys with all the pomp and pageantry normally reserved for the Sultan of Brunei.

We also have pictures of our man leaving the location. But on close observation, we concluded that he looked very jaded after the date. In fact, one of LUC Memuna's boys said he thought they guy had a rough four hours with his boss. Well, we are tempted to believe the story from the Memuna guard. But as credible journalists, we want to speak to The National Assets Man. It will be a great piece of interview for our readers. Please we are not jumping to the conclusion of other people that our man was locked up in a cell. Nobody can go for a date in a police cell. Please take our call sir.

IS KING JIMMY BRIDGE COMPLETE OR NOT?

What's really happening at the site of the former King Jimmy Bridge? The bridge collapsed and killed about six people (official figure) sometime back and after all those political visits and speeches close to the ruins of the bridge, the area was covered up (no pun intended) with corrugated Iron sheets with a few guys in overalls milling around, creating the impression something was being done. And speedily. We TAYA SEF!

In any case in the last few days, one year since the bridge collapsed, we passed by and saw something that gave us a little hope. The bridge appears to have been constructed but it's just like we were looking at the road to Kailahun. So when will this work be completed?

In fact completing the bridge is one thing, getting people like us to drive or walk across it is a very important and different issue altogether. It's about the confidence of people to use the bridge after that disaster. Hahahahahah! In fact we propose that Bababode should be the first person to drive across the bridge. We should probably call it Bababode Bridge. That guy stood on the ruins of the bridge and said a lot of things to journalists, proclaiming that the FCC would clear squatters from underneath bridges in Freetown immediately. Let him come with us to at least six places in Freetown for us to demonstrate that he only gave out hot air. And the rains are here again.

After another week, we will visit the King Jimmy bridge area again to see what is being done there. If constructing a small bridge like that takes forever, how long will it take to construct a bridge to Lungi with Bababode and De Pa running Freetown? Hmmmmmmmm Pass De Rapture.

TENSE WAIT AT AGRIC MINISTRY: WHEN WILL THE ACC CALL?

Any day now, that call would be made by somebody from the ACC building at Gloucester Street to the big tree at the Ministry of Agriculture in the forest of Youyi building. The big tree should not bother to switch off or stay away from the office because there is no hiding place. The day of reckoning is here.

We will cooperate fully with the ACC to prepare the people's case against that big tree in the forest of Youyi Building. Even a rookie prosecutor can land a guilty verdict after just three witnesses against the big tree of Youyi Building. And please no appeal to primordial ethnic sentiments can free the big tree from the choking grip of the ACC. Don't try it bro.

We predict that for the first time in many years, journalists would have to apply to be formally accredited to cover the biggest corruption trial in Sierra Leone since Vouchergate. We know that about five lawyers are licking their lips now waiting to start applying for bail and receiving their fees.

Well many newspapers saw this coming but every time they published something about massive corruption on top of the big tree they were threatened with court action and LIE LIE MATORMA. Bring the MATORMA to court please. Justice MA Paul is waiting.

It's now time to start assembling buses to bring rented crowds to the law courts building from the Tonko axis in the northwest. We have asked the business wing of Politico to apply for the catering contract to provide food for that rented crowd. That's a lot of cash eh? See you in court.

HAS OKERE FILED HIS PAPERS TO CROSS OVER TO THE RED MOVEMENT?

We find it strange that the Red Movement would even entertain the idea that Okere would apply to join them. We say so because we believe that they should be able to see his trick from a mile away and send him packing - total spent force. Total hustler.

It's easy to see that Okere is only trying to solve a financial problem with his membership of the Red Movement. We are talking about a man who at the height of his power ran two powerful ministries. Now that has been transformed into two Mercury machines. We only knew of those machines when we investigated why a former minister, a powerful one at that, is always seen at the headquarters of Mercury International. So for him, Long Live Mercury.

It's also easy to know that what is left of Adams Hotel is not generating enough money so our man has to look for means to supplement his income from the Mercury Machine. And again, it's coming close to Kasankay time, so why can't Okere prepare his resting place. Carry on sir! Pa Kabbah must be turning in his grave.

We shall wake up one morning to news that Osuofia is now a member of the Red Movement and De Pa is thinking of giving him a job.

We remember that heavily-bearded former diplomat who went to a Red Movement convention to announce that he was more RED than Siaka Stevens. The man was for many years a Green Movement minister, five years a diplomat and a recently defeated leadership candidate of the Green Movement. He has since disappeared - no job. Natin!

If Okere thinks the rest of us are stupid, he must be fooling himself. Tejan Kabbah's anti-corruption credentials took a severe knock from which it never recovered when he rescued the squirrel from the ACC net. Wasn't that why the late Olu Gordon was locked up at the CID? Please don't insult our intelligence Mr. Squirrel Adams.

(C) Politico 17/07/14

Category: 
Top