THE DALAI LAMA SPEAKS IN BO
Slaughtered in his own legal abattoir, harassed and battered by De Pa’s relentless rear guard action against his party, facing the threat of extinction like any Dinosaur, The Dalai Lama stormed Bo town the other day to see if De Pa E Yai is still open. Those who came to see him did so more out of curiosity than a demonstration of real grassroots support for his movement.
Plans A and B are still unknown to anybody including the good people at Politico, but we must be forgiven for concluding that the presidency is surely now, The Dalai Lama’s Holy Grail.
He went to Bo a few days ago and apologised because “in 2006 I backed the wrong man”, De Pa. According to The Dalai Lama, De Pa has failed and must be thrown out of office and he will take over. Tall order eh? About a few yards away from the venue, De Pa E Yai, who only yesterday was a radio comedian, is completing two fantastic houses that everybody in Bo marvels at. Push a further two hundred yards and you come across a huge Mediterranean-style building. It belongs to De Pa E Yai. So our man should understand that he has a big fight on his hands. To secure De Pa’s LEGACY, De Pa E Yai will even kill people. And unlike Sankoh, he will stay alive to enjoy the fruits of his treachery. Bo town is a real battleground
OSUOFIA IN LONDON, AMSTERDAM, PARIS, BERLIN and...?
We were told Osuofia was going to London to make a speech at Chatham House. We read politically-charged commentaries on what he said from both sides of the political fence – that should be expected. The problem now is that OSUOFIA has still not returned home. Now we know he also secured a Shengen Visa, that’s how he is able to travel to many European countries. This is just to remind him though, that the voting will take place in Salone in just a little over five months time. And can Osuofia please declare all the donations to his followers and the donors to the nation on his return? Well…he would probably ask about the Freebees De Pa is scattering all over.
Anyway while Osuofia is away people are busy leaving his party. By the time he lands at Lungi, he will be the last man standing and he probably will have no option but to go straight to Marine House to be received by De Pa and we shall turn back the clock to 1978 – Sierra Leone is officially a one party state. Long Live De Pa! Long Live Fidel and Raul Castro! Death to multi-party politics!
PARLIAMENT DISSOLVING SOON
The other day we were trying to imagine how it feels to lose a parliamentary seat. We suspect that it’s truly an extremely bad feeling for loss of prestige, status and above all, income – that unnecessary yellow-and-black car license plate, those oversight responsibility travels and all that flows with them, those unending pre-legislative sessions, appointment committee hearings and ahhhh yes - the passage of a revised Mines and Minerals Act and other mining agreements. Those were memorable days eh? Our MPs will surely remember them.
We make bold to say that more than half of MPs in that House will not return to Tower Hill. Many will be killed with their own party swords while others will inevitably be killed by their opponents. Those holding seats in Freetown are the most vulnerable. We believe that only one seat in Freetown urban – located up on the hill where we have those military facilities appears safe, the rest is up for grabs.
Actually, we also read a book that has the profile of all our MPs. It’s a very interesting book produced by the National Democratic Institute in 2007. When some of those people in the House get thrown out, some of them will become glorified OKADA boys. Those who came from the Diaspora with qualifications from some of the many community colleges in America - if at all – must fast return to their jobs as taxi drivers and Social Work a euphemism for working with psychiatric cases.
Look at the other one who gave his qualification as BA Qualif. What is that in God’s name? Looks like our dear MP left college in the qualifying year. Is that your qualification? We urge our dear readers to grab a copy of this book so that they can see where we are. We want to ask some US Foundation to help us print more copies for free distribution. We also need logistics to verify those qualifications presented from all over the world, sometimes from unranked universities. The ultimate objective is to radically improve the quality of political representation on Tower Hill.
IS JOHNNY PAUL’S LEFTOVER NOT A HOAX?
Among those politicians who went to Belgium recently for the so-called matching of the electoral registration papers is a man called Dr. Kandeh Babah Conteh. He is supposed to be representing People’s Liberation Party. He is a clever man. He always enters the race, collects a few votes – and some campaign donations from the international community and the consolidated fund – and once the elections are over, he runs back to Panguma to continue searching for his bread. Is this a viable party? In fact as Sierra Leoneans we should ask more questions of parties that go to sleep after elections and wake up after five years. The PLP is not alone in this. This briefcase party syndrome must stop. The people are not fools. Parties that score less than 1% of the vote must not be allowed to continue messing up the ballot paper. Tell Fren True Nor Pwell Fren.
POLICE – NO PARKING...and all those ROTTEN CARS?
A trend is taking hold in Freetown very rapidly and soon the police will have to deal with very ugly incidents. Then they will be talking about Community Policing and Proactive Policing, yes zillion powers of arrest and finally “protecting national security.”
Imagine this: all the streets in central Freetown today have little shinny black-and-white metal slates marked POLICE – NO PARKING. I can bet my last penny that 90% of those signboards are not approved by the Police. But the trouble is even when they see them around, they do nothing about them. Other people have now taken to putting old car tires and huge stones to stop motorists parking even for five minutes. Nasty confrontations are coming soon, unless the police clear the murky waters around this free-for-all demarcation of parking areas.
Also some lazy young men have taken to shielding parking spaces on our streets only for people who are willing to pay some Leones. This is illegal but it is happening in full view of the police. When people struggle to locate a parking area, the police appear with a yellow metal clamp to seize their vehicles until they pay Le 100,000. Wetin do dis contry ba?
There are just too many cars on the roads; their roadworthiness is questionable and the city is now a huge parking lot. Entire streets are occupied by rotten cars left there by their owners who can’t be bothered...we tire bo! Munu is deaf and blind, the City Council is too weak and bereft of courageous leadership to act. Note: we have not said a word about STREET TRADING. November 17 is just around Abacha Street corner.
CALAMITY CAULKER OF SALONE FOOTBALL
Every time we see Christian Caulker in goal, we think of former England goalkeeper, David James. He played for West Ham and Portsmouth. We feel very comfortable today to name our national goalkeeper, CALAMITY CAULKER in the same way the English press christened David James, CALAMITY James. Both players could be extraordinary and truly special in goal to the delight of fans but they can be absolutely crazy to the disappointment of their nations. David James’ exploits are well recorded.
Here we note the reason why we firmly believe Christian Caulker must now go the way of David James – out of the national team: When we played against Egypt in Freetown, Calamity Caulker fumbled with a ball that was otherwise lazily rolling out for a goal kick and put it right in the path of a shocked Egyptian, who scored out of nothing. Leone Stars went to Sao Tome. Calamity Caulker forgot he was in goal. He tried to dummy an advancing opponent only to lose the ball. That explains how that tiny island nation completed an outrageous giant killing of Leone Stars.
In Turkey, an Iraqi player took a weak ball from about 25 yards. Our goalkeeper blundered again and Iraq went away with an undeserved victory.
Finally, right under our noses in Freetown – with only 45 seconds to the end of what was surely going to be a 2-0 victory for us, Calamity Caulker messed up very badly again. Even though Sierra Leone won the match 2-1 fans had to be persuaded by Mohamed Kallon, to celebrate.
Mr. Abdul Rahman Swaray, please assure us now that this Calamity Project is over. Give this man a rest and save us further disgrace. Like broadcasters, footballers are only as good as their last performance. Excuses like he did well yesterday; he did well the day before are totally unacceptable. Consistency! Consistency! Consistency!
SLBC SCRAPS NEWSROOM
Our grumpy SLBC management are at it again. If we were paying license fee as people do in the UK we would have asked for a refund in court. Can you imagine that the SLBC DG-by-default has asked that the newsroom be scrapped!!!! We will bring you detail next week…while we keep laughing at this folly with a tinge of political interference and inertia at the top. Anyway can that so-called Public Service Broadcaster get any worse than it already is? We doubt it.
