DE PA TAKES TO THE AIR AS CAMPAIGNING ENDS
In
the last but most important few days of the most expensive and
divisive political campaign ever in the history of this country, De
Pa has decided to use a helicopter to round things up. It’s not a
bad idea. In fact it’s a very smart move. But how much does it cost
on that helicopter? The journey between Lungi and Freetown costs a
week’s meal for the average Sierra Leonean family of four. What
does it cost to fly to Kambia, Kono and those other far flung places?
All
the candidates started campaigning on the roads. All the others are
still there because they cannot afford the cost of a helicopter. De
Pa thinks this is the time in the campaign to separate the men from
the boys. Well done De Pa!
Somehow
we think the turning point came when De Pa’s vehicle got stuck in
the mud on the road to Kailahun and the crucial swing district of
Kono.
How
will the people of Kailahun and Kono feel receiving their president
in a helicopter? What message does that send?
De
Pa has been talking a lot about infrastructure development during his
first term, how come the roads are still so terrible?
It’s
not all that glitters that is gold and Peter Tosh says “half the
story has never been told.”
DE
PA COMMISSIONS MORE, MORE AND MORE PROJECTS
It
seems like everyday now De Pa has a new project to commission. We
shall not accept any suggestion that this is not well planned to
coincide with the last few days of the campaigns. The intention is
easy to find: Such commissioning naturally brings the world’s worst
Public Service Broadcaster – SLBC – along to film the whole thing
and push it down the throats of the people day in day out. The other
thing is, it creates the impression of performing the people’s
tasks despite having to fight for his political survival. In 2002,
Tejan Kabbah used the same tactics against the man who is now
president to great effect. Kabbah landed a crushing first round win.
De Pa is looking to repeat the same feat. Watin
bad pan dat?
At
the commissioning of the hospital at Jui, we noticed that all the
chairs were red. We actually don’t blame De Pa for this because he
definitely wouldn’t have told the organisers to go for only red
chairs. Sycophants of the highest degree were at work. Come on
people, are we really voting because of colours? We don’t think you
have any respect for our intelligence.
Anyway,
as loyal Citizens sir, we want to suggest a few more projects for you
to launch in the last hours before the vote and don't you worry sir,
SLBC will be there and it will always top the news headlines:
a.
Commissioning of footbridge constructed by Hon. Julius Cuffie who has
lost his seat
b.
Commissioning of Kroobay Development Union – their main aim being
cleaning the Samba Gutter
c.
Commissioning of New England Survival Project – to provide clean
water to the whole community
d.
Youth for the Future – to move hopeless youths from all ghettoes in
Freetown
e.
People Against Marijuana Project – it aims to arrest and hand over
to the police the thousands of our young people who can’t live
without marijuana.
De
Pa can complete all these activities in three hours. Gbanabom will
deploy all TV crews. No problem.
LATEST
CONVERTS GET ROUSING WELCOME: LONG LIVE DE PA!
Former
SLPP MP McCarthy brought the “whole”of Kailahun to State House
the other day to declare support and loyalty to De Pa and his APC
party. It’s a familiar pattern. It really started with Debul
Master – the Great King of Paddle,
then came the Madingo chieftain, Grand
Ayatollah Sistani who
actually chased his SLPP mentor out of his house and pledged his
diamond wealth to De Pa’s campaign.
In
recent times we witnessed an old man with his Texas Cowboy hat
crossing over to the APC after his defeat in the primaries by a lady
in the Tiama area.
When
McCarthy came to State House to join the train, De Pa described him
as “loyal and dependable” Didn’t it cross De Pa’s mind that
McCarthy had just betrayed his party that took him to parliament
because he failed to go through the primaries? We are waiting for
McCarthy to make his post-election move possibly to the NDA. Margaret
Thatcher says it’s a funny old world. It is.
FILLING
POTHOLES AT THE 11TH
HOUR
What
is happening to this place called Sierra Leone? The people of Regent
woke up one morning to see NPA men offloading electricity poles and
cables in their backyard apparently in preparation for the
restoration of electricity after a break of six years. Let’s call
this the ACCELERATED
ELECTRICITY RESTORATION PROJECT FOR REGENT.
The
long-suffering people of Regent really applaud this but we are only
two days away from the election.
This
same thing is happening along Wilkinson road and also Kissy road with
those solar lights that we have waited for since Adam was a little
boy.
Look
at this, Petito has instructed his people to start filling up the
mining pits we call potholes in Freetown. Petito told us no work
could be done because of the rains, why is he doing this now? It
rained heavily two nights ago.
Somebody
must tell Petito that the people are not amused at all.
COULD
DE PA BECOME ANOTHER ZINEDINE ZIDANE?
We
are going into this election with De Pa newly christened as “WORLD
BEST.” To demonstrate his joy about the new name, De Pa goes around
these days with many footballs, throwing them at his supporters.
Football is a popular sport in Sierra Leone so there’s nothing
wrong with De Pa cashing in.
Whenever
we hear De Pa being called “WORLD BEST” our mind goes back to the
great man Zinedine Zidane. The French guy was a master at the game.
He terrified opponents and thrilled his fans. On the last day of his
career, Zidane did a terrible thing. He attacked his Italian opponent
Marco Matterazi leaving the referee with no alternative but to send
him off. His team lost.
In
Sierra Leone we just have this small fear that De Pa could be sent
off the field of politics in the next few days. He is a very strong
fighter and his defeat will not be easy. Well we said the same thing
about Zidane. De Pa has so far not head-butted any of his opponents
but he is pushing them hard on many fronts. Some have given up.
Others have abandoned their own projects and joined De Pa. The best
referees in this contest – the people of Sierra Leone will soon
give a ruling.
We
heard on radio on Wednesday that the referees in Bo have started
brandishing RED CARDS suggesting De Pa should leave the field of
politics. The fight is on.
