CHRISTMAS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS: HERE'S WHAT WE DEMAND
And it came to pass that the governor of the Ebola-hit country of Sierra Leone appointed an ex-army signals officer as head of his programme to fight and defeat an Ebola epidemic that had killed and continues to kill hundreds. And it also came to pass that Christmas was upon the people and the ex-army officer decided there should be no singing of “The First Noel” because he feared the epidemic could spread. "What is this man thinking?" the people asked. Is this not just another announcement aimed at grabbing media headlines?
The country was already being ruled with EMERGENCY POWERS with all the implications for civil liberties, so why not just impartially implement the emergency measures. In fact, announcement or no announcement, eight of the 14 political districts of the country were under voluntary lockdown. So what's the point about another big announcement about no Christmas celebrations?
Now, a hungry, angry and exhausted people are waiting for the soldier to send his boys on the streets at Christmas to behave like Roman conquerors. The people will cooperate but they demand the following during the military-enforced lockdown:
1. 24-hour electricity. De Pa promised that in 2007, but how far are we from that dream today. If we are going to be in a lockdown for two weeks, then let's have electricity so we can play nice carols with our families.
2. Let De Pa buy some high quality Christmas programmes for SLBC. We are fed up with political talking heads pontificating all the time about this and that. We don't want to have anything with the killer instincts in the Adonis Aboud Kingdom of DSTV. Imagine this: Salone minimum wage Le 500, 000 in July 2015, DSTV premium, monthly payment Le 525, 000 right now. Let the big guys enjoy.
3. Emergency food and water supplied to all needy homes by genuine aid workers, not those who are almost certain to be arrested and charged by the ACC in the process of distributing the food.
4. Robust night time security. Nobody wants armed robbers creeping up on them while soldiers roam central Freetown pretending to be working.
5. Finally, a certificate from De Pa to every household for going through the second lockdown within such a short period. De Pa himself should include a chapter dedicated to his Sierra Leone Ebola experience, in his memoir titled: Running a country like a business and fighting an epidemic.
ADMISSION IS OPEN – KAN KAN KAN INSTITUTE OF BUSINESS EDUCATION
Forms are out for sale now for prospective students to the Kan Kan Kan School of Business Studies, a new and promising institution named after its founder who never fails to disappoint. How De Pa and the Red Movement managed to convince themselves that a gaffe-prone politician who very few people believe is ever saying the truth should be their spokesman is something we can't put our fingers on.
The Kan Kan Kan School will not be teaching ACCOUNTING at all. The founder believes that accounting is just about ADDING AND SUBTRACTING NUMBERS. He also believes that editing a TV programme is the same as CUTTING AND PASTING text. So no Film Production course.
Students who graduate from this college will be immediately employed at London Mining and African Minerals – forget about job security, it's all business. There are only two core module introduces students to the tactics of putting out a fire at your neighbour's house even while yours is smouldering, example, Frank Timis and London Mining. The second one is How To Worship De Pa and the Red Movement.
Prospective students can now go to the Kan Kan Kan mouthpiece at New England to purchase forms at Le 50,000 enough for a plate of dinner in Saudi Arabia - that is if you don't end up being a Haja or Alhaji Abuja. There are very few places at this elite school where education is free. Most of the teaching is done on radio with external examiners coming from the Independent Republic of Bankasoka.
CLEAN WATER FOR SALONE ON RADIO STATIONS – BY TALKING ROBIN
Since Talking Robin, the son of Fallay was nominated and confirmed as chairman of the Sierra Leone Water Company, this land has known no rest. We wake up in the morning with him speaking about water on one radio station, we go for lunch with his voice in the background on another radio station, at dinner he is there again talking about water on a third radio station. This is the cycle we have had to deal with in the last three weeks or so. Has this man read through his files even?
Talking Robin, the son of Fallay loves his voice on radio. Besides, keeping himself on the airwaves appears to be working for him. As an opposition MP, he had all sorts of outlandish ideas. In the political wilderness, he conjured up something - THIRD TERM for De Pa. That endeared him to the presidency even if it forced State House to issue a NON-DENIAL DENIAL.
Now Talking Robin has appeared at SALWACO. It's beginning to look like he is the sole member of that board and he has executive powers. Soon he will insist on having an office there, not the normal boardroom – an official car and all those trappings. He will make the PRO position at SALWACO redundant. Just to let him know – we recorded his longish interview with Culture Radio. We are now transcribing it for appropriate use in the New Year.
Talking Robin's story is a perfect example of how to get a big job in De Pa's government:
a. Don't care too much about political alliances or conscience. Keep being interested in yourself.
b. Forget about what the rest of society thinks as long as things are happening on your side.
c. Think only in terms of two years. No long-term planning
d. A good dose of sycophancy is definitely required
e. Befriend the media and be ready to make a round of visits to their studios. Sometime they need you only to fill up airtime. Your interest is to be heard.
By the way, we charge no fees for this. Try it out and you could be in office by Easter.
WELCOME TO THE WEEK SLFA BOSS ISHA JOHANSEN IS IMPEACHED
By the end of this week, we will have a new person running the Sierra Leone Football Association whether FIFA intervenes or not. When we come to write the history of her short stay at 21 Battery Street, Kingtom, we will describe her as the leader who couldn't bring herself down to working with her own people and in the end squandered all the goodwill she generated since taking power at the SLFA.
We know that Isha Johansen is using a three track approach to save her skin once again. Here's what we've been able to put together.
TRACK ONE - This involves a last-ditch effort to bring Pope John Paul back to the days just before Johnasen took power at the SLFA – the days of Mama Salone's daughter, Black and White Sierra Leoneans, and all that. This track is looking impossible but with a man as unpredictable as the Pope, Football Stakeholders should expect some shock because the Pope may decide at the last moment to further CEMENT his relationship with the queen.
TRACK TWO - The queen will ask the government of Sierra Leone to tell the stakeholders to stay off congress because we are in an Ebola emergency and the congress is not Ebola-related. The trouble is, given that a government ministry has already granted permission and accommodation for the congress, it will take the personal intervention of De Pa to change the situation. How can the police deny protection for the meeting of 47 delegates inside that huge Atlantic hall, complete with a public address system. There is no Rodney Michael to put forward as the bogeyman this time. We are all Black Sierra Leoneans. Besides there is a strong Ebola component to this congress. Munu must never allow himself to be drawn into this against the people. This track is dark.
TRACK THREE - The Football Queen will call on FIFA to tell the stakeholders to stop because their actions will not be recognised. This is the most difficult to follow because in the end, FIFA wants to keep its members in place and the member of SLFA are the ones now seeking to impeach Johansen.
All along there was only one solution: hold the SLFA congress as stipulated by the organisation's constitution. Why is that such a difficult issue? Can anybody tell SLAJ members there will be no Annual General Meeting because Kelvin Lewis doesn't think it's a good idea? Totally Impossible!
A revolution is underway in the SLFA so running to FIFA is a false move. It's just like Blaise Compaore running to Ban Ki-Moon for support when his people were already on the streets. Only a local solution based on mutual respect would have saved the coming embarrassment.
© Politico 16/12/14
